Death of a Marriage

Looking at this blog (which I add to so infrequently) I notice how many posts have been influenced by my husband Brad. There are direct quotes about his adventures, plus the general nuance of our life together hidden behind it all. It permeates most everything I've written thus far. Haunts it now.

I have always made it a point to keep this blog light in tone and to use it as an exercise for playfulness. Now I am imparting 'heavy' news that divorce is imminent. Brad won't be the major player here or in my life.

This isn't the end of the world but it is the end of a big honkin' chapter of my life. In the last 5 years we've grown apart to the point that we are no longer compatible as husband and wife. What that leaves is 15 years of wonderful memories and five years of sadness and strife.

Last night I remembered how I would wish on every penny I found. I would say, "Here is to health, happiness and wealth for Brad and I together - and in love." I would add the last clunky part not knowing how to properly phrase my fervent wish that we would stay happily married until The End. For 15 years I believed that we would grow old together. My only worry, being who would die first and that neither one of us would suffer a lingering death.

This all reminds me of how we're dying little deaths all the time. The death of friendships lost, careers gone, naive dreams and expectations traded for more realistic and simple ones. I don't mean this in the morose way it sounds. With each death there is a new phase which needs to be embraced. The aim is to accept both past and present and live fully until the next death comes along. There's no skirting it. Life demands that we move through it as gracefully as possible or we grow stagnant and bitter.

As for now, Brad and I are on good terms - friends, with much love thrown in. I don't know what will happen in the future. I surmise that Brad will end up with a romantic partner first and then our link will dwindle as it probably should. As for me, I can't imagine getting involved romantically for quite some time. It would take someone truly fantastic to make me give a shit. If I could make this wish, let them be funny as hell - someone to make me laugh until I cry - thereby taking life a lot less seriously.

In honor of Brad and our relationship, I'll post some amusing photos in the next few weeks. Speaking of 'honoring' - maybe we should have a divorce party! Whether it's a fad or not, it might be fun and cathartic. We'll see! Yep, that's for sure. "We'll see" will be my motto for quite some time!

ALSO Self-Explanatory

Text Edit Experiment - + Taxidermy & High Art vs. Low

Experimental Post Alert: I'm struggling with which Mac program to write my blog drafts in. (Yes, I could just write it at blogspot but I'm a little rusty right now). Writing the text in my email program has been creating flukey conflicts in the blogspot.com program. Importing photos is screwing with the font size and the html links I'm writing seem to be confusing things further. Right now I'm attempting to use the Text Edit Application to see if it's less apt to cause computer glitches.

I'll use this opportunity to post an image of my Christmas present from last year - "The Swamp Monster". Brad (truck driver and hubby) found this most unusual gift at an Army Surplus store. He's an expert at picking out the perfect present for me. I got AN ACTUAL DRUM SET the year before I was bequeathed this taxidermy token of love. (Now I just have to keep practicing my herky-jerky rhythms on the rackin' frackin' thing). The Swamp Monster is actually a deer's ass with lifelike prosthetics added. I'll attempt to include the Swamp Monster picture as part of this experiment.


In terms of using some html to embed a link - I'll use the official website of Polly Morgan (the lofty and highfalutin, British Taxidermy Artist). This will also serve as another experiment - contrasting 'High Art & "Low Art' via taxidermy.

Here's an example of Polly Morgan's work:


Her tableaux are beautiful. It's just the hype accompanying stratospheric art-world status that can interfere with unencumbered appreciation. In terms of the debate over high & low art Brad just remarked that low art is less pretentious, therefore more honest. He's never been a big fan of conceptual art. I haven't either. We both suffered through art school at a time when the merits of your work were sometimes judged more by how versed you were in 'artspeak'. Figurative art was out and installation art was in. It could be extremely frustrating listening to students yammer on about pieces that couldn't stand on their own without an accompanying convoluted analysis. I'm still kind of pissed off about that.

Self-Explanatory

Remy Norton's Blog (and Happy Holidays TOO)!

At the moment there is only one blog I frequent regularly. It's called Remy Norton. Click on Remy Norton and you TOO can follow it - It's a solid recommendation from me to you! Her blog circles around in engaging configurations. Some recent posts include her thoughts on what it means to be a writer, mini book reviews, some hilarious experiences working in retail sales, 'Magical Thinking', book hoarding, Tarot cards, the vagaries of time, fashion philosophy and obscure words and their meaning. It's difficult to sum it up since her blog takes so many thought provoking turns. Norton makes unique connections between 'mundane' topics and their deeper meaning. She's not afraid to put her opinion out there- something I admire. I don't think I've ever left so many comments (or such long-winded ones) on anyone's blog. Her posts always trigger my interest or leave me scratching my head in a good way. I think that's because I'm trying to keep up with her intellectually but am often left in the dust. It's overall a serious blog with definite laugh out loud moments. Norton has a knack for identifying the core absurdities of certain truths.

Just as an aside, Remy's book hoarding posts have special meaning AND fabulous ramifications for me since I became the recipient of an armful of outstanding books! She very kindly donated a selection of Taschen's "Icon" series (vintage imagery of Valentine's Day, Halloween plus 50's and 60's Advertising) and a beautiful compendium of 1960's gift wrap design called "All Wrapped Up". (That's an example of some of the Christmas gift wrap next to the picture of Remy at the top of the post). She also bequeathed me Edward Gorey's book "Amphigorey". I think she was a little dismayed that there was such a gaping hole in my knowledge base, as I was quite unfamiliar with Mr. Gorey and his singular qualities and vast influence. What can I say? I'm embarrassed about that. (Although sometimes being so ignorant gives me the opportunity to happily explore a new avenue of interest).

Norton is a serious writer with one mystery novel already published. It's titled "Gossip Kills" (look for it on Amazon)! "Gossip Kills" is an engaging, crisp and pithy mystery that reminded me of sunny days reading my Mom's Agatha Christie novels. It's solid, straightforward and filled with amusing, quirky characters. It's obvious that Remy Norton has a fervent passion for writing and keenly ruminating on all manner of things. To sum up, her blog is one of my regular stops in cyberspace and I highly recommend it!

Hey! It's been awhile since I've touched this thing (otherwise known as a Blog). I've been trying to figure out all the back end features but I'm as confused as ever. So, until I figure out what I'm doing (and what I want to post) - here are a few pictures of Brad's Magnificent 2010 Halloween Pumpkins. Not only did he carve them artfully, he also grew them via his own sweat and toil.

I've also been slogging away, trying to get a sizable collection of Day of the Dead Sugar Skulls made. Eventually I may show you - if they're ever finished to my liking. Hah! Fat chance!

Our Summer Thus Far . . .

Well - it's been somewhat of a lame summer but things seem to be looking up. The most exciting news is not mine but Brad's. He's buying his very own big, red truck. Here you can see just how immensely HUGE it is, especially in comparison to our house and my small car:

AND Brad had the supreme good fortune of hitting a major Roadside Attraction while on his 34 hour (mandatory) Trucker's break! None other than "South of the Border" (aka "Pedroland")! It's on the border of North and South Carolina - an area famous for Bleinheims - the world's most delicious and spicy Ginger Ale.


Brad made memories at Pedroland! He chowed down on a slab of beef, revelling in the atmosphere of Pedro's Steakhouse with it's circa 1974 decor. He took a ride in the glass elevator to the very top of the 200 foot Giant Sombrero Tower.


He was woken up at 7:00 AM by the friendly tap, tap, tap on his door from a local prostitute. I scored with the great souvenirs he brought back! A hand towel with a silk-screened frog saying "I'm so happy here I could just shit" and a plastic "Horny Hillbilly" that I will refrain from describing in more detail.


The next leg of his trip had him swinging through Florida. Being the romantic soul he is, he brought me an alligator head AS WELL as a nifty and practical alligator claw back-scratcher. The alligators did meet an untimely death but I can assure you they were recycled scraps from an Alligator Meat Farm! The Gator Head has been a true inspiration as I've been planning a Ye Olde Vibe for our Parlor / Living Room. I've also been wanting to include Brad's Grandfather's Last Rites Box and our 3-D Saint Rita (with the thorn in her forehead)



Saint Cecelia is our Parlor's current Patron Saint. Music is her gig and she's often portrayed holding (or playing) a pipe organ. When people see our Saint Cecelia sculpture they get confused and think she's holding a bunch of large Cuban cigars. Here's our our little shabby-chic Saint Cecelia collection:

And speaking of the Parlor, Brad spent this past weekend sanding and varnishing it's quirky patchwork floors:


We're planning to cover the makeshift wood flooring with this rug. One of it's fabulous features is that it already looks dirty. Perfect for a household with 2 dogs (one with an unpredictable digestive system).

The Original, The Classic, The Best - Mr. Potato Head

Superdickery - A VERY Funny Website

I just remembered coming across the site Superdickery while doing some random google search. A guy named Mike has been running the site for over a year. He posts real, unaltered comic book covers and panels. I thought it was a great site - not only for the humor and the crazy comic covers but for the bizarre feeling of nostalgia. I hope you can get a chance to look around Superdickery - it's a lot of fun.

(I've included a lot of links in this post. I highly recommend you follow the links because there are so many talented artists you can learn more about at the touch of your fingertips).

My uncle gave me his old super hero collection when I was 12. I remember reading the stack and getting pretty disturbed - many issues were surprisingly trippy and scary. When I was young I was always a fan of Archie Comic Digest and would force friends to "act out" the story lines. Like many people, I loved Betty and Veronica and would stare at their stylish, tight outfits and fascinating shoes. I admit, I also had a crush on Jughead.

I'm not sure how many of you are comic book fans but comics certainly had an influence on people I know. Lots of the guys I went to art school with learned to draw from super hero comics.

I learned to draw from copying Alphonse Mucha and other Art Nouveau prints - that's why I draw with far too many superfluous lines.


Comic books have gone through a number of rebirths - R. Crumb, Aline Kominsky Crumb, Harvey Pekar, the "Raw" anthologies, Art Spiegelman's Maus, Fantagraphics Publishing House, Gary Panter, "Weirdo" comics, "Love & Rockets by Los Bros Hernandez, Chris Ware etc, etc.

I got back into comics when Drawn & Quarterly started publishing. My favorites were the autobiographical comics. I've included links to each artist - just click on their names. Maurice Vellekoop, Joe Matt, Chester Brown, Archer Prewitt, Dan Clowes (of "Ghost World" fame) and Julie Doucet to name a few.

Brad and I were lucky enough to pick up this limited edition print by Julie Doucet. An additional signature on the print is her actual thumbprint (located under "Julie's Seal of Approval")! Unfortunately the thumbprint on our copy has faded to near invisibility.



And speaking of comic style artwork I own - I AM A TOTAL IDIOT. This first edition Nine Inch Nails poster I have by Frank Kozik was recently going for $2,000 on Ebay. I think I bought it for no more than $30. I stuck thumb tacks in it to hang it up!!!!! Argh! Talk about wanting to kick yourself. The current edition is selling for $650.


When Kozik first started selling his silk screen posters they were ridiculously cheap ($15 to $35). I collected as many as I could and bought a bunch to give away at Christmas. You can go to Frank Kozik's Website - where you can see many of the truly fantastic rock posters he's designed. Here are a few I wish I had purchased. I love the one that says "Bring Me The Head of Jerry Garcia". (Obviously I'm not a Grateful Dead fan).


Oops! Back to comic books! One of the all-time funniest comic book series for those of us from the "Slacker" generation is Peter Bagge's "Hate" collection. The artwork is a bit primitive but the story lines are brilliant and encapsulate so much of slogging your way through your 20's and 30's. Peter Bagge is always worth keeping tabs on.



Well, as usual I've gotten off topic. Around and around I go in nonsensical, circuitous circles. So, I'll end this back on track with another bizarre comic book cover from Superdickery!

I LIED!! - ANOTHER DOG POST!!

Yes, I know. This is the world's worst dog picture. I can't take a good pet picture to save my life. Well anyway - that's not the point. The point is - dog clothing. Nothing . . . NOTHING makes me laugh as hard as dressing up my dog Gesso. I laugh until I cry.

I put her in rhumba pants one Christmas morning. I was doubled over laughing so hard. I was in pain I was laughing so hard. I started to worry my brother-in-law I was laughing so hard.

I think it's especially funny because Brad REALLY hates to see dogs in "outfits" and finds it "totally demeaning". So, every pair of boxer shorts I put on Gesso is a small act of rebellion on my part. Gesso just finds it exciting and slightly puzzling because I start to squeal like a pig.

Here are the rhumba pants I put Gesso in.


The crazy dog on the right (top picture) is Dakota - our problem child. He may be smiling in the picture but he sure wasn't smiling last night during the 4th of July fireworks. That's when we had to drug and restrain him. Believe me, it was for his own good.

Amazing Japanese Erasers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are some Amazing Japanese Erasers. (Just click on the above picture to study their total AMAZINGNESS in full, AMAZING detail). I own 3 sets - The Sushi, The Baked Goods and The Desserts! I think that's excellent. If I owned more I might become too tranquil and enlightened.

The AMAZING thing about them is that each eraser is multi-faceted. They fit together with little plugs so each piece of a particular "object" is an eraser in it's own right. For instance . . . the donut is actually in two parts - one/the icing AND two/the donut itself. You get the idea I'm sure. It's so amazing taking them apart then putting them back together!!!!

The manufacturer's website is in Japanese and even though I didn't know where the hell I was going I managed to copy and paste every image I could find. Hey, by the way - does every computer have an auto translation button/program/thingy? Just curious. It would be nice, wouldn't it? (I just showed a vast amount of ignorance asking that question).

Oh my goodness - I just went back to the website and they have even more AMAZING new erasers like:



Here, check it out for yourself. It's so amazing. Go to Iwako

Dig the pictures of Iwako's smiling employees holding up their amazing products in what looks like an extremely clean and hyper-hygienic environment. Here's an example:

Yes, this is much of how I spend my time - looking and hoping to find things as amazing as Japanese Erasers.

(My apologies to all the friends I've already emailed the erasers to).

I LOVE HAY

Well, technically I love round hay bales. This is a hay bale in the park across the street. I really love these round hay bales.

A Reader's Request for One More Kidney Stone

Unbelievably, I had an audience request (or at least a wistful wish) for another kidney stone picture. Dear Readers, I always aim to please - so here, one more time, is a KIDNEY STONE.


In deference to other's delicate sensibilities I have posted a more tasteful image (sort of - kind of). This kidney stone is reminiscent of the Great Pyramids of Giza. It's really quite beautiful when you think about it.

And to put KIDNEY STONES in a broader perspective - I thought I'd include some quotes from William Shatner (another kidney stone sufferer). Shatner - a true Canadian Icon, auctioned off his kidney stone which fetched a hefty $25,000. The proceeds were donated to Habitat for Humanity. Shatner remarked "This takes organ donors to a new height, to a new low, maybe. How much is a piece of me worth?"



One of the many things I love about Mr. Shatner is the way he bends and shapes the sound and tone of the english language. Just imagine the sonorousness with which he described his excruciating experience -"It was so big, you'd want to wear it on your finger. If you subjected it to extreme heat, it might turn out to be a diamond. The purity of the pain--they had to give me morphine...It was just unbelievable pain. It made you kind of think about what pain is. It was awful."

We are still awaiting the lab analysis of Brad's little stony birth. I'll keep you "posted". I know you're all waiting with bated breath.

FAKE CAKES

I heard a funny story last night while listening to Marketplace on National Public Radio. It was about two women who have a business making "fake cakes" (you'll see their cakes pictured above). They create ornate wedding cakes made of styrofoam and icing that help couple's save money on wedding costs. (Luckily guests still get a piece of sheet cake so nobody goes hungry). To hear the story about Susan Lobsinger and Wendy Hunters business hit this link at Marketplace or check out their cake website Rent the Cake of Your Dreams.

I've been intrigued by fake cakes ever since I saw Amy Sedaris' recipe for them in her book "I Like You - Hospitality Under the Influence". Here's Amy, who quite magically, remains cute and sexy while being both gross and funny.


I assume Amy's whipped cream photos are a tribute to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass' stupendously classic album "Whipped Cream and Other Delights".

"Whipped Cream . . ." was my VERY FIRST favorite album (before I discovered Rock and Roll). I juggled my mother's wigs to the sound of Mr. Alpert and his snazzy, jazzy brass section. His songs are permanently burned into my neurons. My first Rock and Roll album purchase was The Beach Boys (I was hooked by "Good Vibrations").

Anyway, back to Fake Cakes - Amy also makes her cake base from styrofoam but she uses spackle, plaster of Paris and latex paint to create the icing. I just LOVE Amy's book - it's hilarious, practical and full of fabulously strange pictures. Here are a few examples of her cakes which are on sale at fredflare.com.

I would love to make a whole bunch of fake cakes to sell or give away as Christmas presents. You could make super-snazzy 3 tiered cakes, put them on ornate cake stands and decorate them with beads, sparkles and other craft store items. Fake food is something that stirs great passion in my soul.

YET MORE DOGS!!! - but honestly, that's it for awhile.

This is Sam. Sam is Frederica and Jim's new dog! They just adopted her! Yeah! Yipee!

This is significant because Fred and Jim just lost their dog Maxine to a mysterious illness. It was a very painful experience for all three of them - especially because Maxine was so young. They did everything they could to help her get better. It was so sad to see them all suffer.

I think Fred and Jim had the right instinct to look for another rescue dog as soon as possible. It's a very happy outcome - a new canine companion! Sam is so beautiful - look at those gorgeous eyes!

Just to remind you - Fred is my friend who makes the great T-shirts and linocuts. Here's Jerry Lee Lewis from her Musician's Series:


Jim is a student and lover of modern architecture. I've learned a lot by sitting down with one of his books and hearing him explain the history of modern design. I hope to learn more when I get back to the homeland (Canada). I remember Jim's excitement when he went to visit the Montreal Expo building:


Congratulations Sam, Fred and Jim! Here's to a fun future and a very happy home!