Sugarjet

Death of a Marriage

2011-06-19T12:18:00.011-04:00

Looking at this blog (which I add to so infrequently) I notice how many posts have been influenced by my husband Brad. There are direct quotes about his adventures, plus the general nuance of our life together hidden behind it all. It permeates most everything I've written thus far. Haunts it now.

I have always made it a point to keep this blog light in tone and to use it as an exercise for playfulness. Now I am imparting 'heavy' news that divorce is imminent. Brad won't be the major player here or in my life.

This isn't the end of the world but it is the end of a big honkin' chapter of my life. In the last 5 years we've grown apart to the point that we are no longer compatible as husband and wife. What that leaves is 15 years of wonderful memories and five years of sadness and strife.

Last night I remembered how I would wish on every penny I found. I would say, "Here is to health, happiness and wealth for Brad and I together - and in love." I would add the last clunky part not knowing how to properly phrase my fervent wish that we would stay happily married until The End. For 15 years I believed that we would grow old together. My only worry, being who would die first and that neither one of us would suffer a lingering death.

This all reminds me of how we're dying little deaths all the time. The death of friendships lost, careers gone, naive dreams and expectations traded for more realistic and simple ones. I don't mean this in the morose way it sounds. With each death there is a new phase which needs to be embraced. The aim is to accept both past and present and live fully until the next death comes along. There's no skirting it. Life demands that we move through it as gracefully as possible or we grow stagnant and bitter.

As for now, Brad and I are on good terms - friends, with much love thrown in. I don't know what will happen in the future. I surmise that Brad will end up with a romantic partner first and then our link will dwindle as it probably should. As for me, I can't imagine getting involved romantically for quite some time. It would take someone truly fantastic to make me give a shit. If I could make this wish, let them be funny as hell - someone to make me laugh until I cry - thereby taking life a lot less seriously.

In honor of Brad and our relationship, I'll post some amusing photos in the next few weeks. Speaking of 'honoring' - maybe we should have a divorce party! Whether it's a fad or not, it might be fun and cathartic. We'll see! Yep, that's for sure. "We'll see" will be my motto for quite some time!

ALSO Self-Explanatory

2010-12-28T19:39:00.005-05:00

Text Edit Experiment - + Taxidermy & High Art vs. Low

2010-12-27T10:35:00.011-05:00

Experimental Post Alert: I'm struggling with which Mac program to write my blog drafts in. (Yes, I could just write it at blogspot but I'm a little rusty right now). Writing the text in my email program has been creating flukey conflicts in the blogspot.com program. Importing photos is screwing with the font size and the html links I'm writing seem to be confusing things further. Right now I'm attempting to use the Text Edit Application to see if it's less apt to cause computer glitches.

I'll use this opportunity to post an image of my Christmas present from last year - "The Swamp Monster". Brad (truck driver and hubby) found this most unusual gift at an Army Surplus store. He's an expert at picking out the perfect present for me. I got AN ACTUAL DRUM SET the year before I was bequeathed this taxidermy token of love. (Now I just have to keep practicing my herky-jerky rhythms on the rackin' frackin' thing). The Swamp Monster is actually a dear's ass with lifelike prosthetics added. I'll attempt to include the Swamp Monster picture as part of this experiment.

In terms of using some html to embed a link - I'll use the official website of Polly Morgan (the lofty and highfalutin, British Taxidermy Artist). This will also serve as another experiment - contrasting 'High Art & "Low Art' via taxidermy.

Here's an example of Polly Morgan's work:

Her tableaux are beautiful. It's just the hype accompanying stratospheric art-world status that can interfere with unencumbered appreciation. In terms of the debate over high & low art Brad just remarked that low art is less pretentious, therefore more honest. He's never been a big fan of conceptual art. I haven't either. We both suffered through art school at a time when the merits of your work were sometimes judged more by how versed you were in 'artspeak'. Figurative art was out and installation art was in. It could be extremely frustrating listening to students yammer on about pieces that couldn't stand on their own without an accompanying convoluted analysis. I'm still kind of pissed off about that.

Self-Explanatory

2010-12-25T15:56:00.002-05:00

Remy Norton's Blog (and Happy Holidays TOO)!

2010-12-24T16:10:00.006-05:00

At the moment there is only one blog I frequent regularly. It's called Remy Norton. Click on Remy Norton and you TOO can follow it - It's a solid recommendation from me to you! Her blog circles around in engaging configurations. Some recent posts include her thoughts on what it means to be a writer, mini book reviews, some hilarious experiences working in retail sales, 'Magical Thinking', book hoarding, Tarot cards, the vagaries of time, fashion philosophy and obscure words and their meaning. It's difficult to sum it up since her blog takes so many thought provoking turns. Norton makes unique connections between 'mundane' topics and their deeper meaning. She's not afraid to put her opinion out there- something I admire. I don't think I've ever left so many comments (or such long-winded ones) on anyone's blog. Her posts always trigger my interest or leave me scratching my head in a good way. I think that's because I'm trying to keep up with her intellectually but am often left in the dust. It's overall a serious blog with definite laugh out loud moments. Norton has a knack for identifying the core absurdities of certain truths.

Just as an aside, Remy's book hoarding posts have special meaning AND fabulous ramifications for me since I became the recipient of an armful of outstanding books! She very kindly donated a selection of Taschen's "Icon" series (vintage imagery of Valentine's Day, Halloween plus 50's and 60's Advertising) and a beautiful compendium of 1960's gift wrap design called "All Wrapped Up". (That's an example of some of the Christmas gift wrap next to the picture of Remy at the top of the post). She also bequeathed me Edward Gorey's book "Amphigorey". I think she was a little dismayed that there was such a gaping hole in my knowledge base, as I was quite unfamiliar with Mr. Gorey and his singular qualities and vast influence. What can I say? I'm embarrassed about that. (Although sometimes being so ignorant gives me the opportunity to happily explore a new avenue of interest).

Norton is a serious writer with one mystery novel already published. It's titled "Gossip Kills" (look for it on Amazon)! "Gossip Kills" is an engaging, crisp and pithy mystery that reminded me of sunny days reading my Mom's Agatha Christie novels. It's solid, straightforward and filled with amusing, quirky characters. It's obvious that Remy Norton has a fervent passion for writing and keenly ruminating on all manner of things. To sum up, her blog is one of my regular stops in cyberspace and I highly recommend it!

2010-11-21T09:44:00.006-05:00

Hey! It's been awhile since I've touched this thing (otherwise known as a Blog). I've been trying to figure out all the back end features but I'm as confused as ever. So, until I figure out what I'm doing (and what I want to post) - here are a few pictures of Brad's Magnificent 2010 Halloween Pumpkins. Not only did he carve them artfully, he also grew them via his own sweat and toil.

I've also been slogging away, trying to get a sizable collection of Day of the Dead Sugar Skulls made. Eventually I may show you - if they're ever finished to my liking. Hah! Fat chance!

Our Summer Thus Far . . .

2007-09-03T12:11:00.003-04:00

Well - it's been somewhat of a lame summer but things seem to be looking up. The most exciting news is not mine but Brad's. He's buying his very own big, red truck. Here you can see just how immensely HUGE it is, especially in comparison to our house and my small car:

AND Brad had the supreme good fortune of hitting a major Roadside Attraction while on his 34 hour (mandatory) Trucker's break! None other than "South of the Border" (aka "Pedroland")! It's on the border of North and South Carolina - an area famous for Bleinheims - the world's most delicious and spicy Ginger Ale.

Brad made memories at Pedroland! He chowed down on a slab of beef, revelling in the atmosphere of Pedro's Steakhouse with it's circa 1974 decor. He took a ride in the glass elevator to the very top of the 200 foot Giant Sombrero Tower.

He was woken up at 7:00 AM by the friendly tap, tap, tap on his door from a local prostitute. I scored with the great souvenirs he brought back! A hand towel with a silk-screened frog saying "I'm so happy here I could just shit" and a plastic "Horny Hillbilly" that I will refrain from describing in more detail.

The next leg of his trip had him swinging through Florida. Being the romantic soul he is, he brought me an alligator head AS WELL as a nifty and practical alligator claw back-scratcher. The alligators did meet an untimely death but I can assure you they were recycled scraps from an Alligator Meat Farm! The Gator Head has been a true inspiration as I've been planning a Ye Olde Vibe for our Parlor / Living Room. I've also been wanting to include Brad's Grandfather's Last Rites Box and our 3-D Saint Rita (with the thorn in her forehead)

Saint Cecelia is our Parlor's current Patron Saint. Music is her gig and she's often portrayed holding (or playing) a pipe organ. When people see our Saint Cecelia sculpture they get confused and think she's holding a bunch of large Cuban cigars. Here's our our little shabby-chic Saint Cecelia collection:

And speaking of the Parlor, Brad spent this past weekend sanding and varnishing it's quirky patchwork floors:

We're planning to cover the makeshift wood flooring with this rug. One of it's fabulous features is that it already looks dirty. Perfect for a household with 2 dogs (one with an unpredictable digestive system).

The Original, The Classic, The Best - Mr. Potato Head

2007-07-07T19:48:00.001-04:00

Superdickery - A VERY Funny Website

2007-07-07T11:40:00.002-04:00

I just remembered coming across the site Superdickery while doing some random google search. A guy named Mike has been running the site for over a year. He posts real, unaltered comic book covers and panels. I thought it was a great site - not only for the humor and the crazy comic covers but for the bizarre feeling of nostalgia. I hope you can get a chance to look around Superdickery - it's a lot of fun.

(I've included a lot of links in this post. I highly recommend you follow the links because there are so many talented artists you can learn more about at the touch of your fingertips).

My uncle gave me his old super hero collection when I was 12. I remember reading the stack and getting pretty disturbed - many issues were surprisingly trippy and scary. When I was young I was always a fan of Archie Comic Digest and would force friends to "act out" the story lines. Like many people, I loved Betty and Veronica and would stare at their stylish, tight outfits and fascinating shoes. I admit, I also had a crush on Jughead.

I'm not sure how many of you are comic book fans but comics certainly had an influence on people I know. Lots of the guys I went to art school with learned to draw from super hero comics.

I learned to draw from copying Alphonse Mucha and other Art Nouveau prints - that's why I draw with far too many superfluous lines.

Comic books have gone through a number of rebirths - R. Crumb, Aline Kominsky Crumb, Harvey Pekar, the "Raw" anthologies, Art Spiegelman's Maus, Fantagraphics Publishing House, Gary Panter, "Weirdo" comics, "Love & Rockets by Los Bros Hernandez, Chris Ware etc, etc.

I got back into comics when Drawn & Quarterly started publishing. My favorites were the autobiographical comics. I've included links to each artist - just click on their names. Maurice Vellekoop, Joe Matt, Chester Brown, Archer Prewitt, Dan Clowes (of "Ghost World" fame) and Julie Doucet to name a few.

Brad and I were lucky enough to pick up this limited edition print by Julie Doucet. An additional signature on the print is her actual thumbprint (located under "Julie's Seal of Approval")! Unfortunately the thumbprint on our copy has faded to near invisibility.

And speaking of comic style artwork I own - I AM A TOTAL IDIOT. This first edition Nine Inch Nails poster I have by Frank Kozik was recently going for $2,000 on Ebay. I think I bought it for no more than $30. I stuck thumb tacks in it to hang it up!!!!! Argh! Talk about wanting to kick yourself. The current edition is selling for $650.

When Kozik first started selling his silk screen posters they were ridiculously cheap ($15 to $35). I collected as many as I could and bought a bunch to give away at Christmas. You can go to Frank Kozik's Website - where you can see many of the truly fantastic rock posters he's designed. Here are a few I wish I had purchased. I love the one that says "Bring Me The Head of Jerry Garcia". (Obviously I'm not a Grateful Dead fan).

Oops! Back to comic books! One of the all-time funniest comic book series for those of us from the "Slacker" generation is Peter Bagge's "Hate" collection. The artwork is a bit primitive but the story lines are brilliant and encapsulate so much of slogging your way through your 20's and 30's. Peter Bagge is always worth keeping tabs on.

Well, as usual I've gotten off topic. Around and around I go in nonsensical, circuitous circles. So, I'll end this back on track with another bizarre comic book cover from Superdickery!

I LIED!! - ANOTHER DOG POST!!

2007-07-05T07:42:00.002-04:00

Yes, I know. This is the world's worst dog picture. I can't take a good pet picture to save my life. Well anyway - that's not the point. The point is - dog clothing. Nothing . . . NOTHING makes me laugh as hard as dressing up my dog Gesso. I laugh until I cry.

I put her in rhumba pants one Christmas morning. I was doubled over laughing so hard. I was in pain I was laughing so hard. I started to worry my brother-in-law I was laughing so hard.

I think it's especially funny because Brad REALLY hates to see dogs in "outfits" and finds it "totally demeaning". So, every pair of boxer shorts I put on Gesso is a small act of rebellion on my part. Gesso just finds it exciting and slightly puzzling because I start to squeal like a pig.

Here are the rhumba pants I put Gesso in.

The crazy dog on the right (top picture) is Dakota - our problem child. He may be smiling in the picture but he sure wasn't smiling last night during the 4th of July fireworks. That's when we had to drug and restrain him. Believe me, it was for his own good.

Amazing Japanese Erasers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-05T07:00:00.002-04:00

Here are some Amazing Japanese Erasers. (Just click on the above picture to study their total AMAZINGNESS in full, AMAZING detail). I own 3 sets - The Sushi, The Baked Goods and The Desserts! I think that's excellent. If I owned more I might become too tranquil and enlightened.

The AMAZING thing about them is that each eraser is multi-faceted. They fit together with little plugs so each piece of a particular "object" is an eraser in it's own right. For instance . . . the donut is actually in two parts - one/the icing AND two/the donut itself. You get the idea I'm sure. It's so amazing taking them apart then putting them back together!!!!

The manufacturer's website is in Japanese and even though I didn't know where the hell I was going I managed to copy and paste every image I could find. Hey, by the way - does every computer have an auto translation button/program/thingy? Just curious. It would be nice, wouldn't it? (I just showed a vast amount of ignorance asking that question).

Oh my goodness - I just went back to the website and they have even more AMAZING new erasers like:

Here, check it out for yourself. It's so amazing. Go to Iwako

Dig the pictures of Iwako's smiling employees holding up their amazing products in what looks like an extremely clean and hyper-hygienic environment. Here's an example:

Yes, this is much of how I spend my time - looking and hoping to find things as amazing as Japanese Erasers.

(My apologies to all the friends I've already emailed the erasers to).

I LOVE HAY

2007-07-05T06:53:00.001-04:00

Well, technically I love round hay bales. This is a hay bale in the park across the street. I really love these round hay bales.

A Reader's Request for One More Kidney Stone

2007-06-26T06:13:00.001-04:00

Unbelievably, I had an audience request (or at least a wistful wish) for another kidney stone picture. Dear Readers, I always aim to please - so here, one more time, is a KIDNEY STONE.

In deference to other's delicate sensibilities I have posted a more tasteful image (sort of - kind of). This kidney stone is reminiscent of the Great Pyramids of Giza. It's really quite beautiful when you think about it.

And to put KIDNEY STONES in a broader perspective - I thought I'd include some quotes from William Shatner (another kidney stone sufferer). Shatner - a true Canadian Icon, auctioned off his kidney stone which fetched a hefty $25,000. The proceeds were donated to Habitat for Humanity. Shatner remarked "This takes organ donors to a new height, to a new low, maybe. How much is a piece of me worth?"

One of the many things I love about Mr. Shatner is the way he bends and shapes the sound and tone of the english language. Just imagine the sonorousness with which he described his excruciating experience -"It was so big, you'd want to wear it on your finger. If you subjected it to extreme heat, it might turn out to be a diamond. The purity of the pain--they had to give me morphine...It was just unbelievable pain. It made you kind of think about what pain is. It was awful."

We are still awaiting the lab analysis of Brad's little stony birth. I'll keep you "posted". I know you're all waiting with bated breath.

FAKE CAKES

2007-06-23T13:03:00.001-04:00

I heard a funny story last night while listening to Marketplace on National Public Radio. It was about two women who have a business making "fake cakes" (you'll see their cakes pictured above). They create ornate wedding cakes made of styrofoam and icing that help couple's save money on wedding costs. (Luckily guests still get a piece of sheet cake so nobody goes hungry). To hear the story about Susan Lobsinger and Wendy Hunters business hit this link at Marketplace or check out their cake website Rent the Cake of Your Dreams.

I've been intrigued by fake cakes ever since I saw Amy Sedaris' recipe for them in her book "I Like You - Hospitality Under the Influence". Here's Amy, who quite magically, remains cute and sexy while being both gross and funny.

I assume Amy's whipped cream photos are a tribute to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass' stupendously classic album "Whipped Cream and Other Delights".

"Whipped Cream . . ." was my VERY FIRST favorite album (before I discovered Rock and Roll). I juggled my mother's wigs to the sound of Mr. Alpert and his snazzy, jazzy brass section. His songs are permanently burned into my neurons. My first Rock and Roll album purchase was The Beach Boys (I was hooked by "Good Vibrations").

Anyway, back to Fake Cakes - Amy also makes her cake base from styrofoam but she uses spackle, plaster of Paris and latex paint to create the icing. I just LOVE Amy's book - it's hilarious, practical and full of fabulously strange pictures. Here are a few examples of her cakes which are on sale at fredflare.com.

I would love to make a whole bunch of fake cakes to sell or give away as Christmas presents. You could make super-snazzy 3 tiered cakes, put them on ornate cake stands and decorate them with beads, sparkles and other craft store items. Fake food is something that stirs great passion in my soul.

YET MORE DOGS!!! - but honestly, that's it for awhile.

2007-06-21T06:19:00.001-04:00

This is Sam. Sam is Frederica and Jim's new dog! They just adopted her! Yeah! Yipee!

This is significant because Fred and Jim just lost their dog Maxine to a mysterious illness. It was a very painful experience for all three of them - especially because Maxine was so young. They did everything they could to help her get better. It was so sad to see them all suffer.

I think Fred and Jim had the right instinct to look for another rescue dog as soon as possible. It's a very happy outcome - a new canine companion! Sam is so beautiful - look at those gorgeous eyes!

Just to remind you - Fred is my friend who makes the great T-shirts and linocuts. Here's Jerry Lee Lewis from her Musician's Series:

Jim is a student and lover of modern architecture. I've learned a lot by sitting down with one of his books and hearing him explain the history of modern design. I hope to learn more when I get back to the homeland (Canada). I remember Jim's excitement when he went to visit the Montreal Expo building:

Congratulations Sam, Fred and Jim! Here's to a fun future and a very happy home!

Bach Flower Remedies - Believe It Or Not!

2007-06-17T19:07:00.002-04:00

Oh boy! I had my Bach Flower Remedies appointment today and do I need help. This will be interesting. Here's more about my inner psyche than you or I have ever wanted to know! Wish me luck!

LARCH - for lack of self confidence
AGRIMONY - for acting according to what you think will please others
CENTAURY - wanting to please and serve others first to self-detriment
RED CHESTNUT - for worry about other's welfare
WHITE CHESTNUT - for the mind that won't stop
CHERRY PLUM - for fear of losing control
ASPEN - dread and anxiety
STAR OF BETHLEHEM - soothing old wounds and traumas

Yes, and HAVE A NICE DAY!!!

Multi Media Mogul Paul

2007-06-16T10:33:00.001-04:00

I just got an email from my pal Paul about his television debut on "Pet Central". The "Pet Central" program runs on the Canadian cable channel "Pet Network" which is devoted to 24 hours of pet related programming. 24 HOURS OF PET PROGRAMMING! I'm just repeating that to REALLY let it sink into my brain (and maybe your's for that matter). It's another mind boggling example of living in the modern media age. Here is my TV Star friend Paul pictured above with his very cute and well behaved dog Noah. You can see Noah's super cool portrait in the background too.
I've included the links to Paul's video. It's really fun! It features lots of Paul's paintings and highlights both his process and inspiration. There's also a "blooper reel" ending that's great - it made me laugh just hearing Paul laugh. I miss you Paul! Gotta call you soon for the rock swap talk. Go to Paul's Website or direct to youtube. The only misinformation in the video is Gesso's gender - she's actually a female and not a "he" but Paul hasn't met her yet so I'm not holding that against him.
A posting on Paul just wouldn't seem right without an incriminating polaroid. I've included this one from 1995. Paul and I seem to be a Viking Couple in the middle of a fist fight. I'm not really sure what we we're doing. I do know Paul ended up wearing my wig at some point that night.

In the "Pet central" video Paul very kindly mentions my dog Gesso and that the background colors in her portrait were meant to reflect the atmosphere of our house. He also talks about us rescuing her from a shelter after the death of our Lab. The Lab he mentions is my first dog Junior. I've posted about Junior before - so you know I have absolutely no objectivity about him. Junior was just the bestest of the best. I've heard lots of complaints that blogs and websites end up being all about people's pets. It's true! We're more insufferable than new parents! Just to prove the point here's a picture of Junior and Paul:

And since I'm taking this opportunity YET AGAIN to talk about Junior I'll post ANOTHER picture. Junior had a big patch of white fur on his chest. Whenever I dyed my hair with Manic Panic I dyed his hair too (as you can see below). My friend David (an actor and improvisational scat singer) made up a song called "Junior - The Punk Rock Dog from Bayview Street". David created a whole imaginary TV show about Junior's punk rock antics. I guess we all had too much time on our hands back then.

More importantly though - back to the matter at hand. I'm really impressed that Paul has been doing this work for 16 YEARS and doing it so well! Way to go Paul!!! You have worked SO hard and your art has developed in amazing new directions. After watching Paul's video and a documentary on The Sex Pistols AND The Pixies this week I am forever in awe of people who have a totally unique aesthetic and have the drive and the guts to get it out there. That kind of creativity inspires me and keeps life so interesting. I'm really proud of you Paul.

WOOFSTOCK - Toronto's Doggy Festival

2007-06-09T09:52:00.001-04:00

My pal Paul has been participating in Toronto's WOOFSTOCK Festival for years. You can see the portrait of my dog Gesso at the front of his booth (bottom left corner). I wonder if people look at her portrait and assume "Now there's a good doggy!" If only they knew that her shrill and constant barking is like fingernails on a chalkboard.

WOOFSTOCK has been dubbed "the summer of canine love" as well as "the largest outdoor festival for dogs and the people who love them." 140,000 come together to see the latest "pooch food, fashion, furnishings and unique services". A perfect occasion for many of us childless (or child free) people to overindulge our transference issues.

Good Luck Paul!! Sell lots! Break a Paw (not literally)!

Drowning In Self-Consciousness

2007-06-06T06:57:00.001-04:00

So I've hit the wall again and am drowning in self-analysis. I begin a project enthusiastically and then I freeze and stop. I write this to explain my lack of posts.

What happens is everything becomes far too complicated in my head and small creative tasks become monumental. Instead of a pleasant diversion - my self-expression just seems formidable. I figure it's also a form of "performance anxiety".

So, my new approach is to imagine a complete lack of audience (which is quite close to the truth).

(Though I mean no offense to anyone who is infact reading this)!

Instead, I'm just gonna let it fly right from my brain to this blank page - so watch out!

Hah! Let's see if I can make this major psychological breakthrough.

SORRY about all these KIDNEY STONE PICTURES!

2007-05-22T08:07:00.002-04:00

Hi! I just had to take the last kidney stone picture off. It was making me nauseous - as I'm sure it offended anyone else viewing my site (so no one else was affected - THANK GOD)! Poor Brad and his on-going kidney stone predicament!

I'm a little pissy that the very long post I was just working on was erased because of a GREAT NEW "auto save draft" blogger feature. I was trying to get past the kidney stone posts but I was thwarted. Don't worry non-existent audience! I will slog my way through this temporary impediment!

WOOH-HOOH!!!!

2007-05-17T07:13:00.001-04:00

HALLELUJAH. The stone HAS PASSED!!!!!! I won't overhelm you with too much information but Brad's 5mm stone came out yesterday afternoon! He said it just went "ploop" and there it was. No pain just the fabulous gift of a clear urinary system. Now all we have to do is find out what it's made of and adapt his lifestyle accordingly. We're wondering if the cause was the $200 worth of meat he just finished eating. He bought it from a guy who was selling frozen beef door to door. Don't ask. Brad is a sucker for anyone selling things on our doorstep. Brad filled our tiny freezer and the Truck refrigerator with multiple cuts of beef. He was so proud of himself, cooking on his George Foreman Grill while driving cross country. So (from our amateur sleuthing) it looks like no excessive meat or spinach consumption. The kidney stone analysis will tell us for sure. OH HAPPY DAY!!! His stone is quite black and lumpy, kind of like a little lava rock. Luckily not similar to the stones that look like little shards of glass all piled on top of each other. We're guessing it's made of calcium oxalate - which is the most common type.

Thank you to everybody that wished him well. It was really nice of you all.

Wooooh, what a relief for the poor guy.

Hold on, Don't Give Up!

2007-05-15T07:04:00.001-04:00

I'm still here and working on a number of "posts" (and another very late "Colloquialism of the Week"). The kidney stone saga is taking priority at the moment. I send YOU, My Audience (meaning Jennifer if she's still bothering to check this site out) my apologies for not keeping my Blog up to date. I promise, this stone better be on it's frickin' way out and then our lives will be back to normal. Here's a recent picture of me that Brad took before he started writhing in pain.
I'm wearing one of my friend Frederica's T-shirts. We're selling them at the store I work at. They're WONDERFUL shirts - hand silk-screened, hand-painted and sewn as an inlay into the T-shirt. Fred is a fantastic print maker and does hand painted lino cuts, often in miniature. Here's one of her prints that I love. I actually love all her prints - they're all over my house. Fred is FABULOUS and fabulously talented.

OH NO!

2007-05-12T15:33:00.001-04:00

Oh dear. Poor Brad has spent this latter half of the week dealing with the passage of his first kidney stones. It's horrible to see him in so much pain. A very kind nurse at the ER gave us this unusual home remedy. She said it helped her husband pass his kidney stone the first day he tried it. What you do is drink 6 ounces of Coke Classic on an empty stomach every half hour. Brad can't stand the taste of Coke but he's giving it a try. It seems to be the least costly and most helpful advice we've gotten so far.

Oh, Great Pumpkin - Please let Brad get rid of this stone and NEVER develop another one again. Thank you.

Wow, aren't those pictures of kidney stones gnarly? I thought they would be like little round balls. No wonder he was doubled over in pain last night. Oh the poor guy, geez.

Bathrooms are an Oasis

2007-05-07T08:53:00.001-04:00

I LOVE a nice clean bathroom. To me, kitchens and bathrooms are the most important rooms in a house. First I'll show you my bathroom. It was a small bedroom on the second floor that we converted with the money left from our home loan. We got the rounded (1940's?) bathtub for free. Redecorating was a lot of work - thanks Mike, Matt, John and Tile Guy! I have too many "themes" going on in there - candy, crowns, game pieces, chemistry sets and "red cross" pharmaceutical items. The bathroom is where I get to fully enjoy all my LUSH products. If you haven't tried LUSH soaps and bubble bars, etc. it may be a good thing because they're so addictive. "Decadent to the point of Depravity" is how I feel about their products and the transcendental state of sensual bewitchment they draw me into. LUSH products are superlative, VERY eco-friendly and a real inspiration for my soap and perfume making. You can find LUSH here.

Brad's bathroom is downstairs and has a glassed in shower. I can't seem to take a good picture of it since it's so small. It's theme is Mexican "Day of The Dead". It was hard to get the red paint to cover the frightening flower wall paneling. One day we WILL replace the toilet - it's so sluggish.

Jill - The Beautiful

2007-05-06T11:20:00.001-04:00

I haven't been doing Jill justice since posting such a plethora of bizarre pictures of her on my blog. I thought I'd try to right the situation by putting up a more fetching shot. This was a polaroid I took in 1996 when we were at "The Mad Hatter" Tattoo Convention in Portland, Maine. She was in a handmade nagahide dress with metal fastenings and I tried to scratch the polaroid to match the hotel bedspread. By now Jill has A LOT of beautiful tattoos - many done by our mega talented friend Julie Rose. As I said, Jill used to live here in Maine and livened up everyones's life (especially mine). She has a fabulous mix of sweetness, adventurousness and an amazing ability to reinvent herself. She now lives in New York City and makes a living selling her vibrant and distinctive paintings which you can find here. Things are a little dull without her. I feel better looking at her paintings, thinking about how much fun we had and seeing how talented she always remains.

UGLY PARTY - May 1995

2007-05-05T08:55:00.000-04:00

Back in 1995 I threw an "Ugly Party". I can't recall exactly what we ate but I do remember a lot of canned vienna sausages and a store bought jelly roll pierced with baby carrots. Since I'm a lousy cook I always fell back on serving weinies in a blanket. I don't know what I'd do without Pillsbury - thank you little Doughboy. Everyone got into the spirit and dressed in the worst thrift store suits, cardigans and dresses. I was working at Family Planning and brought home some especially repellant pelvic models. Don't get me wrong all of you feminists out there - I think we should celebrate the beauty of our private bits but these pelvic models were really grotty. One was "invisible" with the ovaries just kind of hanging in space. The other model was ancient - really large with full buttocks and thighs and was used to demonstrate diaphragm insertion. It had turned a sickening ochre color, had a very unpleasant texture and was still covered with glutinous KY jelly. Blech - sorry for the description but at least I'm not showing you the pictures. I have included a few shots of myself and Jill. The red lipstick all over Jill's teeth was a brilliant touch. She wore a musty old mason's sash and real chicken's feet for earrings. I was going for the overtanned Florida retiree look (with a hirsute problem). Theme parties are almost always a guaranteed winner.

More Mercenary Dreaming . . .

2007-05-02T11:56:00.000-04:00

I was standing in line at the supermarket check-out, flipping through an architectural magazine when lo and behold I found the flooring of my dreams "Livinglass". My heart started to pound and my palms got sweaty - it's that gorgeous. It's more than just flooring though - it can be used for walls, ceilings, doors, showers, tables, back splashes, etc.. The other wonderful thing is this stuff is THICK - an inch or more depending. There's something so fantastic about objects encased in a clear substance. I'm attracted to the concept in jewelry too. (See Jennifer Flatow's "Jellie Joolz" bracelets and Barbie's Basement belt buckles, necklaces and other acccessories). I'll include some pictures of Livinglass but I recommend you visit their website since they have so many options available and can also do custom work. I didn't even look at the price - this is strictly "dream home" fodder. Amazingly they can capture most 3 dimensional objects while keeping the integrity of it's look (like draped fabric). Livinglass suspends jelly beans in glass as well but I thought licorice allsorts would be even better.

Here's Livinglass' propaganda straight from their site: "Livinglass is composed of two sheets of glass and a resilient polymer interlayer. Due to the composite action of these materials, Livinglass is an impact resistant safety glass for both residential and commercial applications. Inspired by the colors and textures of nature, Livinglass is a laminated architectural glass, which captures organic materials within luminous sheets of clear glass. We can laminate any material up to 1" in thickness without losing the brilliance or structural integrity of the glass. Combine 2 or 3 interlayer materials, add a background color, throw in a textured or patterned glass and you have a custom designed, unique Livinglass material.

I know I'm starting to sound like some kind of sales rep but it's just that bubbling enthusiasm coming up.

Trapped In a Brandy Snifter

2007-05-02T10:43:00.000-04:00

Long before the digital revolution (Adobe Photoshop, etc.), wedding photography could be quite a bizarre and repellant thing. As you can see here:

I've been attracted to many vulgar things throughout my life and I dreamed of the day that I too could be immortalized in a Brandy Snifter. In 1996 the very exciting opportunity arose when our run down little Department Store brought in a professional photographer. My friend Jill was always up for an adventure so we decided to dress up as "Aliens". Our costumes were intentionally shoddy - leftover Halloween make up and antennas made from green pipe cleaners. Unfortunately I forgot to paint our hands so it's obvious in the "portrait" that I doctored it with extra green tinting. The really funny part was the portrait photographer didn't even crack a smile as we posed (though we were successful in scaring a few children).

We were so excited that we went back home and took more polaroids. We figured that aliens would either be friendly or pissed off so that's how we method acted our parts. I'm not sure why the cigarettes were included except for the fact they always made handy props.

From 1995 to 1999 I was having an agonizing creative block (which still plagues me). So I spent all my energy documenting parties and friends and forcing people to dress up, put on make up and do a variety of tableaux for my amusement. It was actually a lot of fun (for me) and I think my friends got used to performing like circus dogs. My favorite model was always Jill who was like the ultimate punk barbie doll. Every series of pictures had a thematic background, was laminated and put into a decorative binder. So I guess I was "scrapbooking" before I knew what "scrapbooking" was. I'm still amazed and addicted to laminating (because it's SO magical and almost indestructible). I think those books will last long after I'm dead. What a weird time capsule to come across - people will think "What the hell was wrong with this group of strangers"? Ha, ha.

Cute as a Button!

2007-05-02T09:43:00.000-04:00

Brad was out on the road and noticed another truck hauling T@B trailers. He knew I'd like them since my dream is to one day join the recreational vehicular subculture. We once saw a medium size camper for sale from the late 1950's in PERFECT condition. It had all the original accessories with a pine interior and looked like it had never been used. It was $1,000 which was an incredible bargain. At that time $1,000 was like $100,000 or $1,000,000 to us and therefore an impossibilty. Anyway - these campers are all still out of our price range but I thought I'd post some pictures for anyone who has yet to see them. You can go the the official T@B website here. They are so incredibly cute but the one drawback is not being able to stand up straight in it (as it's so very small). This was good to hear since I'm claustrophobic. Now I'm less covetous.

But that impediment got me thinking of Airstream Trailers again. Even more out of our price range unless money starts flying from the heavens. Since I'm only imagining here I thought I would imagine having the 75th Anniversary Limited Edition of their smaller "Bambi" trailer. After all - that way you get a toilet and shower too.

Here is the Propoganda from the Airstream site: "Airstream Inc. commemorates its 75th Anniversary with a stylish, modernistic take on old-fashioned luxury. The 75th Commemorative Edition Travel Trailer combines ultra-refined, polished aluminum interiors with rich, natural materials such as warm wood veneers materials and details which pay homage to founder Wally Byam’s original designs. Designer David Winick took the lead in creating an interior space that is both ultra modern and retrospective."

Hmmmmm, it's beautiful - really a piece of rolling art. If you have an interest in taking the virtual tour just click here.

I've included some pictures - check out the fabulous interior. So now you know my ultra conventional plan for retirement - if I don't end up in a Home with Alzheimers. (Knock on "warm wood veneer").

Hipster Slang of The Week - #1 in a Series

2007-04-28T21:32:00.000-04:00

I've been very inspired by "Straight From The Fridge, DAD - A Dictionary of Hipster Slang" by Max Decharne. As the book jacket explains "Much of the slang popularly associated with the hippie generation of the 1960's actually dates back to before World War II, hijacked in the main from jazz and blues street expressions, mostly relating to drugs, sex and drinking."

I knew those hippies were a bunch of poseurs and sell-outs. THE BEAT GENERATION RULES.

Well, um, anyway, slang (or colloquialisms) can be useful and entertaining. Or annoying. They can be fresh - become stale - and go in and out of style. There are some I use with abandon (like "bummer") and some that never come naturally to me (like "sweet"). I thought I'd devote a post each week to some kind of slang (or unusual word or phrase). After I post I'll try to use that word or phrase throughout my week. After 2 weeks people will be telling me to shut the f*ck up but for now I'm looking at it as an interesting little social experiment. AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION PLEASE - feel free to join me and send any colloquialism that "trips your trigger".

So this week's phrase is . . . "Out to the wide"

Which means UNCONSCIOUS. Pretty simple huh? That shouldn't be too hard to slip into a conversation or two.

Stay tuned for next week's vocabulary embellishment.

Biting the Hand that Feeds - When Fans Turns Rabid

2007-04-22T18:49:00.000-04:00

DISCLAIMER: I'm a VERY harsh critic on pop culture so be warned - I can be unrestrained and very nasty to boot. It's after years of honing my viciousness drinking wine with friends while debating the pros and cons of particular bands. One of my favorite writers is Cintra Wilson so that may explain some of my influences. If you haven't read Cintra Wilson I definitely recommend her - especially her critiques of Oscar night (before 2007 - she was too easy on them that year). Yes, it's tough being such a critical yet mindlessly devoted "fan". So easy too - you just sit back on your un-talented butt and whine about legitimately creative people being less than perfect. Somehow every hero eventually disappoints though - reminding me that creative juice will often pass it's expiration date. Yes, there are a few artists that surprise you and can put a new spin on their shtick but you can usually count those artists on one hand. In fact I just took a look at my CD collection and I couldn't find one band or artist whose stuff wasn't better in the beginning except, strangely enough - William Shatner. I know, I know - but really, the album he did with Ben Folds - "Has Been" was genius. Marianne Faithfull has reinvented herself but so many musicians end up doing "classics" and become cabaret singers of sorts. I think Jack White (White Stripes, Raconteurs) is pretty clever and versatile but he was a little scary when he started looking like Michael Jackson - and he married a model - so typical. Another artist who has yet to disappoint is David Cross (of "Mr. Show" and "Arrested "Development"). Thankfully he's still bitter, hilarious, unrelentingly uncompromising and politically incorrect. Which brings me to "Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny". It's lame - lame, lame, lame, lame. A prime example of dumb and formulaic comedy. David Cross and Bob Odenkirk of Mr. Show were embarrassed to release their full length feature "Run Ronnie Run" but it packs way more laughs than Tenacious D's recent wilty film. Where are the jokes? The clever songs? Where has Jack Black's bubbling, hyperactive and amusing stream of consciousness gone? "The Pick of Destiny" is a classically bad comedy that can't stretch its humor through 93 minutes. Why am I surprised - it's such a common problem with humor on the big screen. ("Zoolander" is the exception to the rule for me - and I'm aware that it's a love it or hate it movie). There were some marginally funny bits like the Sasquatch Mushroom Trip, their escape by "power slide" and the Rock Off with Dave Grohl as the Devil (an idea they've executed better in the video for the song "Tribute"). The biggest bummer was The D's music - subpar lyrically and lacking their usual "tasty tunes" and melodiousness. I played their first, self titled CD ("Tenacious D") relentlessly - not only was it funny but it TOTALLY ROCKED making it one of my favorite CD's of 2001. It was the kind of comedy you could quote endlessly and the type of music you could proudly blast in your car. It was all good - their shorts for HBO, the DVD "The Complete Masterworks", the video "Fuck Her Gently" by Spumco, and Jack Black in "High Fidelity" and "School of Rock". I loved these guys. Jack Black became one of the few men on my list of "do-able" movie stars. I lay part of the blame on director Liam Lynch who is likably nerdy in the deleted scenes feature of the new DVD but didn't do much in terms of framing shots, maintaining momentum or shooting the comedy with any passion. He seemed to save all his skill on the chronically conventional car chase scene and really, on that count I couldn't care less. When will fimmakers just STOP these tedious car chases and think of something more entertaining? I was surprised to read that Liam Lynch directed Sarah Silverman's film "Jesus is Magic" which is both exciting to watch and very funny (despite the slightly wooden and out of place musical numbers). Oddly enough, after all my complaining, Brad just asked me to explain the plot of "Pick of Destiny" and he laughed all the way through the synopsis. So maybe the ideas weren't so bad - it was the execution. I also wondered if the film would be much better to sit through stoned but if it doesn't work straight it just isn't funny. Dear JB and KG of The D, please bring back your "mighty juice".

A "Sensitive" Guy

2007-04-22T12:23:00.000-04:00

So it's (almost) Spring and time to be messing about in the backyard. This is where Brad is truly King of His Domain. It took him 5 years to get rid of the sea of poison ivy we purchased along with this kooky old house. One of the things I like so much about Brad is that he loves to garden. He tends it and puts up stakes so the dogs can't trample all over the important bits. He points out flowers to me that I'm too oblivious to notice, even though I walk by them countless times. Brad does have a really nice feminine side to his personality. Sure, he's a guy - farting in bed, trucker's libido, laughing at his own crude jokes. But he's also a really good communicator and affectionate. I credit his Mom for this - when he was young she would sit on the stairs with him everyday for "loving time". She'd give him big hugs and as Brad says, tell him he was "King Sh*t of F*ck Mountain". Well no, she didn't actually use those words - she's much too sweet and polite. But you get my drift - "King Sh*t of F*ck Mountain" is a little Mr.Show reference for all you comedy fans out there. Anyway, it's gardening time and I appreciate all of these things.

The Ridiculous Post

2007-04-21T18:02:00.000-04:00

I got a computer scanner which bodes well in terms of more posts. (If anyone is reading this thing). Honestly, blogging is so bizarre. I mean does anyone actually give a toss about what "I" write, think, feel, find interesting or want to drone on and on about? I know - it's the process not the cold hard numbers of viewers. But you can't help thinking about an audience when you put something up and that just reinforces the notion that my blog is feeding into some mass narcissistic social phenomena as well as my very own self absorption. It really creates a quandary or dichotomy or some kind of pesky dilemma that rings the bells of hypocrisy and meaninglessness in my already ringing head. I could go on and on about this as it has been gnawing, gnawing, gnawing at the very back of my brain. Hmmm, well - maybe I'll figure it out in some sort of satisfactory way at a currently unforseen point in the future. I thought a long meandering, pseudo-psche, obstreperous post might fill up some of the floating, nebulousness of this cyber-space so I'm actually messing with YOUR head at this point. Hah! But I do desperately wish there was some kind of spell check feature with this blog template. And really folks - whoever or wherever you are out there - PLEASE KEEP READING or this will be further proof of "the nothingness" and exacerbate my existential dread.

Do You Ever Wish You Had Someone Else's Talent?

2007-04-21T15:58:00.000-04:00

Do you ever wish you could have another person's talent? I don't mean "taking" their talent and leaving them with nothing. I just mean HAVING that talent you really admire. An even better wish would be combining multiple talents into one unstoppable rolling ball of MEGA MONSTER TALENT. For instance - mixing the stage presence and vocal abilities of Kurt Cobain and John Lydon (Johnny Rotten). Or how about blending the guitar skills of Andy Gill (Gang of Four), Robert Quine, AND Carrie Brownstein & Corin Tucker (Sleater-Kinney)? Obviously these are MY WISHES and not yours - so you're going to have to come up with your own damn wishes.

There is one person whose talents don't need to be combined because she's got it all covered. That's Elizabeth Doherty of Gourmet Amigurumi. Wikipedia defines Amigurumi as the Japanese art of knitting or crocheting small stuffed animals and anthropomorphic creatures. Elizabeth takes the Japanese craft and makes it her own. I can't imagine it being any more ideal. She's got it all down - the skill, colors, accessories, attitude and the way she makes her crafted characters take on a unique life. I think what Elizabeth D makes is absolutely perfect. I encourage you to visit the GALLERY link at Gourmet Amigurumi to see her amazingly crafted, hilarious and mindbendingly imaginative work. P.S. - Watch her slide show at the Gallery Link - it's absafrickin unbelievably fabulous.

Is This Cheating?

2007-04-14T13:53:00.000-04:00

Is it wrong to go back and rewrite posts? Cause that's what I've been doing. Just fleshing them out a bit more if you know what I mean. I believe that may be an example of Obsession/Compulsion.

Jude & I- Partners in Crime - Aunt Judy Remembers Food Fight

2007-04-14T13:27:00.000-04:00

Here's proof that my memory is shitty. My Aunt Judy is the ultimate family story teller. I wish she'd write this stuff down. Anyway, above is a picture of Jude and I. I just realized it may look like I have a mouth deformity but I'm sticking out my tongue in concentration (trying to feign intense interest in my Dad's softball game). I think I was 12 or 13 in the picture which makes Judy 25 or 26 years old. After my post I received this email from her which actually sets the record straight on our food fight. I promise - no more boring old stories on my Blog after this!!

Here's Judy:
"HA HA-VERY FUNNY. But I think you have forgotten the fact that I didn't leave you at Grandma's, I dragged you back to my place. It was there your conscience got the better of you and you said you really wanted to ring Grandma and say sorry. I said go ahead-THEN knowing she wouldn't get mad at you-because really, it WAS all my fault. You just sat there in disbelief and shock, giggling as the eggs and flour dripped off your head. I told you to tell her I was sorry too (being the scared twit I was). I just realized - we must have walked, or taken the subway all the way back to my place with you looking like hell because I know we left quickly. But really - we did keep telling her not to come in, we would clean it up. She always thought no one could clean like her. No wonder I didn't learn to clean properly until I went to England and had my own family."

So there you have it folks. The end of my food fight story. You can now breathe a collective sigh of relief.

Farewell Easter 2007!

2007-04-09T19:53:00.000-04:00

Good-bye sparkly easter eggs, plastic carrots and chubby haunched bunnies. We completely forgot to have an Easter egg hunt this year (or eat anything more traditional than rigatoni with pesto, pine nuts and sun dried tomatoes). Come to think of it, I don't think Brad and I have ever had an Easter hunt. It may be because he really hates chocolate - but that doesn't mean I can't hide hunks of steak, cigarettes and banjo strings around the house in 2008. He could hide new shoes and a good computer scanner for me.

Easter reminds me of my Aunt Judy and her practical jokes. Back then, (in the 70's) she was an International "Stewardess" and the most gorgeous and glamorous person I have ever seen. When I was 8 or 9 she took me to a Toronto park and swore that the Easter Bunny lived down a muddy ravine. We fell down the ravine with mud and water flooding all over us and our clothes. We could only get back up with my Grandma's hooked umbrella which we broke to bits. Grandma was OK with us breaking the umbrella - she was just steamed that our muddy clothes besmirched her immaculate kitchen. But that was NOTHING compared to the time when Judy and I had a food fight in Grandma's kitchen. I remember Judy breaking eggs on my head then sprinkling bacon bits all over me. Grandma was so mad that Judy ran to her own apartment and left me there. She knew Grandma was so nice she wouldn't take it out on me. Judy was my idol for many reasons but one of the most vivid examples of her utter cool was that she had a WHOLE SHOE BOX FULL of candy on the top of her closet shelf. Juicy Fruit gum and everything! When her kids were young I sent them a great big tin box filled with the most special candy I could find and told them the story of Judy's magical shoebox.

Sugarjet Power - Now in Liquid and Powder Form!

2007-04-07T10:40:00.000-04:00

Yes Folks, not only can you catch the full-on rush of Sugarjet Power by post and image - it's now available in powder AND liquid form. Made for those special occasions when you want to lie back, tune out, throw in the cutlery and SOAK IT UP. Not recommended for children under the age of 14. Brought to you exclusively by SUGARJET - a sub-personality of Agostini Inc.. Next up - "Solid Sugarjet". Ten olfactory explosions in super concentrate CHUNK form. Rub it all over your body, rub it on your friends, just make sure to send me lots and lots of your cash.

It ALWAYS snows in April - Example 04/03/2007

2007-04-04T07:59:00.000-04:00

In Maine, it always snows in April. Thankfully it doesn't stay on the ground long. You'll see our crazy old house and the lawn art my friend Eggs Benedict created. He's a very smart man - a graffiti artist and welder. His welded garden piece decorates our flower bed which doubles as our pet cemetery. Excuse my corny digression here. It's hard to strike a balance in a blog - you want to be entertaining but you also want to be truthful about those things that have personal meaning. I'm still trying to figure out that balance.

So, on to the personal remembrance. In the pet cemetary lies my first and most beloved dog Junior (always a truly GOOD BOY) and our cat Chelsea (always a bit crabby yet lovable to the end). Brad chiseled a beautiful grave stone for Junior - a portrait and the words "The Kindest Soul". Junior WAS the kindest soul and he was a very popular with my friends. Many tributes poured in after his death because he was a constant smiling presence in the life we shared together. You were the best doggy Junior! This is for Junior and any pet owners out there who miss the unconditional love from the unique furry creature they spent their days with.

Rotating Holiday Rollie Cart

2007-04-01T19:14:00.000-04:00

It's true. In my old age I've been reduced to the thrill of doing "Holiday Arrangements" on my Kitchen Rollie Cart. I HATED holidays until this creeping sentimentality took over my life. It occurred to me that I could take advantage of my love of Dollar Store plastic doo-dads and Ye Olde Junk Shoppe knickknacks (aka: bibelots - what a great word eh?) and everything vulgar and garish that is overflowing into our barn. The best crap in my collection are the giant, light-up plastic ornaments for Christmas and Halloween. I put them around the house as "accent" pieces. I realize that Kitsch Decor is totally "out" among hipsters (was it even "in" 20 years ago?) and they're on to Danish Modern or Scandanavian Gothic or whatever the fuck. All I can say is look, I live in this place - I want it to be bright and colorful and happy. Dare I say comfortable and homey too? Yes I'm defensive, I haven't been exposed to much culture since I moved here 14 years ago. I'm taking a stance of embracing my screaming, showy, overwrought aesthetic in a desperate attempt to justify my existence.

While Visions of Platforms Danced in my Head

2007-04-01T12:08:00.000-04:00

I've become obsessed by platform shoes. Is this a trickle down from some important trend I've missed? Brad isn't happy about it. Either because I'll be closer to his height or because he's trying to save me from myself (by leaving the house looking foolish). I spents HOURS staring at platforms yesterday. HOURS. I lost track of all time along with my self respect. Scroll down for some of the more mind-boggling shoes I couldn't tear my eyes away from. You can see the more practical shoes I've chosen. They should accesorize well with my new tattoo and skull bandana Rockabilly Ruffle Skirts (made by Paper Doll Productions and brought to you by Babygirl Boutique). Now I'm rethinking it all, wondering if a black pair of doc marten style boots would reduce some of the femmyness (I'm a "hard-edged" girly-girl). Right back to the beginning - shoes really do take a lot of deep thought. This obsession got started thanks to Jennifer Jellie Joolz and her link to Babygirl Boutique - once I got off their website things went downhill from there (shoes of more and more bizarre proportions). Just hit this link Babygirl Boutique for a wild and wonderful shopping ride.

These are "Hot" But He'd Probably Like "Plushy" Platforms even better!

2007-04-01T11:20:00.000-04:00

If I wore these at home while giving Brad a couple of aspirins and a back rub, I don't think he'd mind this whole platform shoe idea.

F*cking Genius!!

2007-04-01T11:16:00.000-04:00

I have nothing to say except these are brilliant.

High Heel Marathon - Did you read about it in the News? All True!!

2007-04-01T11:12:00.000-04:00

Who says you can't run in high heels?

Crush, Stomp and Shimmy all over Rampant Capitalism

2007-04-01T10:59:00.000-04:00

I know these must be "Protest Shoes" - no doubt created as a commentary on our consumerist culture.

Do the Ducks and the Sexy Shoes Kinda Cancel Each Other Out?

2007-04-01T10:55:00.000-04:00

These shoes remind me of my soap holder - it has the exact same floating ducks in it.

Fly Your Freak Flag

2007-04-01T10:41:00.000-04:00

And these are for all the patriotic hookers out there - or sexy Uncle Sam costumes. I suppose there are Republican prostitutes? I mean, you can never assume just because of someone's career choice. An artist friend of mine got all blustery and pissed when I tried to hit him up for painting donation when I was working as an HIV educator. He was bent out of shape because everyone took it for granted that he was left-leaning. I kind of learned my lesson but it didn't make me like him any better.

An Icon that's Grown Close to My Heart

2007-04-01T10:37:00.000-04:00

I don't know how Brad couldn't appreciate these "Mud Flap Girly" light up platforms. Unless every girl's got 'em at the trucker rest stops. Truckers call rest stops "Pickle Parks". I think that's because of the very friendly strangers you can meet who are more than happy to help you "release" some of that tension you've built up after a long day of driving.

Of Ziggy Stardust and The Runaways

2007-04-01T10:31:00.000-04:00

These shoes remind me of the good old days. The late 1970's when you could go to a stadium concert and cut the marijuana smoke with a knife. It's just not the same with all these straight edge venues. What fond memories - going to see AC/DC in my boyfriend Bill's Dodge Nova (a bright orange car - how fabulous it would be to have a car like that now). Yeah for Angus Young - AC/DC was one of the best large stadium shows I've ever seen. Bill drove so fast I'd have to hang on to the dashboard while wearing my seatbelt. He was a smart boy and looked like a slighty less attractive Gary Oldman. Bill played the bagpipes. Do YOU (Dear Audience) ever wonder what happened to your high school flings? I was just a teenager reading Cream and Circus magazine, dreaming of being a guitarist and doing overwrought drawings of my rock heroes.

Patent Leather Monster Mash

2007-04-01T07:55:00.000-04:00

And finally these shoes which are really quite cool though unfortunately a little Hermon Munster-ish: Nice colors, interesting stitching. Do you dance in them?

Working out Bugs

2007-03-30T19:27:00.001-04:00

Just to let you know - I can't stop changing my profile. It's rotating on it's head all the time. You can check who I am on an almost daily basis. Also, Brad showed me how to write links into the posting text so you can click directly on the link to the "subject" I'm talking about. I've gone back and thrown these into my earlier posts.

Oile Initsoga - Birthday Boy.

2007-03-27T07:40:00.001-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POPS. YOU ARE A FUNNY AND WISE FRIEND WHO KEEPS ME LAUGHING AND SHOWING ME THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE IS TO EXCHANGE AND COME FROM A PLACE OF LOVE. Today (March 27th) is Dad's birthday. There is a lot I could say about how deeply I love him and how precious our relationship is. So many of the words I wrote in my draft have become cliched and hollowly hyperbolic. Suffice to say my Dad is a man of such compassion and heart that I don't know what I'd do without him. It was difficult for us at the beginning. When we caught up to each other on our paths it was an amazing thing. Thank you Dad. You've saved my skin over and over. So many calls where you've talked me down when I thought I was losing my mind. You help me shake off the negative and always lead by example and innate wisdom. You're my Hero and my Best Friend. Cheers Dad - All my Best Wishes & All that is Wonderful for You - Elio Agostini. OH, yes, also - you can read more about Dad's book and how he's following one of his passions: Dad's Website

My Space Baby - Enough is enough!

2007-03-26T20:30:00.001-04:00

Sorry Folks, this is assbackwards. I posted my "Flower Babies" bottom to top instead of, well, the other way - so it's screwy. Really, so sorry! (I would have no meaningful vocabulary if it weren't for the word "sorry"). Sorry too if the "Flower Baby" colors look weird on the screen (too dark, no whites) - I have some monitor problems. Oh, anyway. I'm suffering BLOG REMORSE because I can no longer see all my posts - it's my first time seeing them slip into the archives. I didn't expect this to disappoint me so. And I'm eternally SORRY that I have always, AND CONTINUE to use quotation marks incorrectly. Maybe I can rely on this "ALL CAPS" thing instead?

My Gummy Baby - background reminded me of gummy bears

2007-03-26T20:28:00.001-04:00

My Flower Flower Baby

2007-03-26T20:25:00.001-04:00

My Scharf Baby - Inspired by Kenny Scharf

2007-03-26T20:22:00.001-04:00

My Fire Baby

2007-03-26T20:04:00.001-04:00

Meet Gesso -This & All Posts Inspired by Jennifer Jellie Joolz (for inspiring me to BLOG) and of course Paul Boddum and his Amazing Dog Portraits

2007-03-25T10:03:00.001-04:00

This is a portrait of our dog Gesso (soft "G") as rendered by my pal Paul Boddum. Paul is the "Michaelangelo" of Dog Painters. He's even painted a portrait for (Oprah's personal Chef) Art Smith of his pooch T Ron. Check out his incredible Gallery of Mid Century Modern/Pop Art Pet Paintings at the following link Paul Boddum's Pet Portraits
Back to Gesso. We call her the Paris Hilton of the dog world due to her cute yet somewhat vile nature (Gesso also runs around without underpants). She is a Shelter Dog and no doubt 95% Pitbull. We were completely hoodwinked by her unabashed beauty and pretence of good behavior at said Shelter. When we got her home it was a completely different story . . .

Gesso's Crimes Against Humanity:
- Sexual Deviance re: Toe Licking
- Continual Violations of Town Noise Ordinance
- Indiscriminate Consumption of Cat Feces
- Excessive Leash Pulling
- Unlicensed Usage of Family Mattress in Accordance to Size and Family Status
- Intent to Harm or Maim Random Canines
- Assault with Deadly Weapons - via Claws/Talons used to Jump On and "Greet" Visitors

I think the list is really much longer than this but I'll stop there. Here's the kicker - we have 2 dogs and Gesso is the better behaved. Coming up: Part 2 Dakota -"Trembling, Fear and the Excrement" or "Doggy Prozac Nation"

My First Rant (more coming but I'll try to keep it at a minimum)

2007-03-24T08:03:00.002-04:00

Today I only scratched the surface of our dreaded yearly health care enrollment (and I've spent 2 days so far devoted to it). It's easy to understand why so many people are uninsured in this country and that's a damn shame. For assorted reasons I have to enroll. Through the "news" I'm reminded of the obscene profits these companies, CEOs and pharmaceuticals make - to the detriment of those that are insured. Coming from Canada, one of the many countries that offer a national health care policy I am SO dismayed by the state of health care in the USA. There's not much else to say beyond gritting my teeth and finding the least bank breaking option. I can say "don't believe the hype" - national health care WORKS and should be a right for any so-called, evolved country and it's citizens. Sorry to be a bummer with this post. On to more pleasant topics. But I'd be lying if I said I haven't been tearing out my hair over this.

The Giant Chocolate Bunny is Coming

2007-03-23T18:10:00.001-04:00

Thanks to Sarah and Matt who helped me make the weirdest f*#cking Easter Egg Tree in 2006. Though we didn't use shards of glass or razor blades we did have an S/M egg (wrapped in chains) and one dedicated to "Kevin Federline". You can never use enough glitter or Mod Podge (trademark). We spelled out our names with cake decorating letters - those eggs disintegrated really fast - which made me cherish them all the more. They were like little ticking time bombs of sugary love. My goal will be wrangling with my digital camera to show you my 2007 Dollar Store Easter Diorama. I'm sure you can't wait.

My Mega-Talented Sister-in-Law - Andrea Shriver

2007-03-23T09:14:00.001-04:00

I just wanted YOU, my vast audience (yeah, right) to know that my very talented sister-in-law, Andrea Shriver took the picture of that handsome devil - Brad. This is another super swell photograph she took. Her business is called Focus 360 Photography. I'm going to check if she has any links to her work. You can also sign up to receive one her photos per week via e-mail. Her images are universally beautiful. I'll keep you "posted" on that!

"Driver Brad"

2007-03-22T06:55:00.001-04:00

Our "Jill Stasium Commerative Hallway"

2007-03-21T17:28:00.001-04:00

Our hallway is dedicated to one of my Bestest Buddies - Jill Stasium. She created all the kick-ass paintings you see. I highly recommend you take a gander at her website to view all her joyful, technicolor art. Even better - you can find Jill herself, selling her paintings on the streets of Soho most every weekend. Just look for the map on her website. Jill and I met here in the Backwoods until she hightailed it for greener pastures. I'll be posting pictures of us in the crazy get-ups we wore when we were still young and overindulging in just about anything pleasurable. I love ya Jill! Here's how to find her on the internet: Jill's Website